Neon Pothos (M)

There's a dark air to Aura. Contrary to other species in her family (Epipremnum Aureum), Aura does not blossom due to a genetic bug no Ctrl+Alt+Del could solve. She is also considered a plague due to being nearly impossible to kill and staying green even when kept out of the light. Pretty much the lovechild of the Grinch with Bruce Willis in that Christmas movie. No wonder people also call her the Devil's Ivy.

How to care for Aura

The dark side of the bloom (not to be confused with that Pink Floyd record your weird uncle told you about) never looked greener. And unlike your stoner uncle or the Gilmour-Troubled Waters relationship, Aura has aged well: she's been around at least since 1880, which officially makes her older than knock knock jokes. And she still has the hots! If you're looking for a pet that outlasts you, look no further: Aura is what songs like "I will survive" are all about. Not only is she cold, she's blasé like Beyoncé: leave her to burn in the sun and Aura will still behave like she's totally lovin' it, her heart-shaped leaves all out like it's for that super chill selfie.